It's a story I never could have possibly imagine would happen. Some may call it fate, I call it Faith. Others may call it serendipity, I call it Sovereignty. It's a story so amazing that even I wouldn't believe could happen to anyone I know... Yet it happened to me.
The first time I knew Claire was through her mom. Her mom was my Sunday school teacher and I was just only living 7 years of my existence. And she was 3. She was the new kid in Sunday school and almost everyone watched over her, took care of her - she was everybody's baby.
Time passed we lived our own separate lives. Distinct and without any thought of the other. We rarely see each other in church and any opportunity that came up was insignificant. I was big brother who didn't care much with what's happening with the younger church crowd, and she's growing up to become the pretty lass from her batch. We existed in our own world and we couldn't care less about the other. It was unlikely that something or anything at all could happen between us.
As we pursued our lives, we had our own relationships. Each relationships eventually lead to heartbreaks. We existed to find love and eventually lose it again. In the search for true love, we found ourselves getting hurt and wounded, over and over again. And it was a painful and vicious cycle. Finding true love was an impossible task. There was something missing.
Surrender.
Being a Christian begins with accepting Christ as Lord and Saviour. Acknowledging Christ died for my sins once and for all was easier. Making Him Lord of my life is the harder part. Being a Christian doesn't end in just attending Bible studies, praying, going to church, and being good.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
Surrender is key. And I learned it the hard way. Experiencing hurt and pain was the only way to rid of my stubbornness. And it really hurt where it mattered the most. I wrestled with God, and He won. I finally gave Him the last part of me that I have been keeping for myself. My heart. My Love.
No more desires for relationships. No more desires for marriage. I started accepting that it maybe my calling. The calling of singleness. My focus is to be a man after God's own heart. My desire is to be in the center of His will. My desire is to delight myself in Him.
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
One fateful day on September 2006 we were in the hospital with family. It was a bittersweet reunion of sorts. A close uncle of mine suffered a stroke. Thank God that He is sovereign and my uncle was ok. Along with the getting together of family comes the usual banter. I was of age and was asked the dreaded question most single people dread to hear.
"Why aren't you married?" followed by "Why not?" followed by more whys and what nots. I told them that I was looking for something.
I was looking for the Spark. Spark - not the Allspark. Not the kind that gives life to alien life forms transforming into vehicles and robots bringing havoc to earthlings. But it was similar. Some call it attraction. Others infatuation. And I wasn't finding any during that time. I was the iceman - no warm happy mushy being felt for the longest time. I was the iron man - my heart was as hard as cold steel, incapable of love.
Then the fateful question was asked. "Why not Claire?". I said "Maybe".
My answer set the wheels turning. It was like clockwork. I believe God uses people to accomplish His purpose. And He did. People began praying for me. He began to move when I stopped doing things on my own. He will be doing the courtship for me. And amazingly He did. Even before I actually courted her. Claire told me herself.
Unfortunately, impatience got the best of me. It was August 2007, when I asked her out after she passed the board exams. She said no. It was unexpected. I would later learn that she didn't like me at all. I was "makulit". She avoided my advances. She didn't take my calls. I was discouraged and was ready to give up.
"Di ko pagpipilitan ang sarili ko sa mga taong ayaw sa akin" was my last exasperated sigh. I'm thinking that it may not be God's will that we be together. I'm done with her. Or so I thought.
But people kept praying for me. I was given advise and encouragement by a friend that I should be a friend to her first. Not to befriend her only to court her later. It was supposed to be a genuine friendship with no expectations. That advice may have become the turning point.
Little did I know that God was already at work in her. She was afraid of getting into relationships. She's afraid to get hurt all over again. She's afraid to hurt the man she loves. Her fear is that she was not good enough.
And I became a friend to her. The group we were in started going out for gimik and outings. We as a group watched movies. We had coffee. We had dinner. We even stayed late in the evening in the coffeeshop just to talk about love, life, and God's will in our lives. Things that usual christian young adults are supposed to be doing. It was all good clean fun.
Little by little she took notice of me. I wasn't expecting anything but was just being myself. Of course the attraction in my part is still there. But having no expectations was liberating. We started exchanging text messages again. I just let myself be me - transparent. And let God do the courting for me. And in time God nurtured what we have in our hearts.
In our small talk, I finally worked up enough courage to tell her how I feel. I asked her to commit herself to prayer. I told her I was considering her in my prayers as a potential life partner. I asked her to seek God's will regarding the both of us. And I will do the same. We agreed to pray for each other.
We got involved in various church activities. We both became involved in the Christmas decorating activities in church. We worked with joyful and willing hearts. Our group dedicated ourselves to make the decorations the best we could. Better than anything we have seen. Better than what our church has had. And without asking anything in return.
True enough, the Lord found delight in me. He honored me again. He saw my heart's desire. I was on a leisure trip to China. We still found ourselves exchanging text messages via roaming. We realized we missed each other. True enough, absence makes the heart grow fonder. The fondness grew more when it was her turn to go on vacation to China, this time in Hong Kong. I'm an avid traveller and I knew that arriving from the airport with luggage in tow is not fun at all. I volunteered to fetch her and her mom from the airport. Because I care. During that time, we haven't dated yet. We haven't gone out for dinner. We haven't gone out in a movie. Not as us. Then the most unexpected thing happened, her mom asked me to have dinner with them. This is what I've been praying for. God's favor was on me.
Little by little, Claire started to open herself to me. She's becoming more comfortable. She's learning to trust again. We started going out for coffee and dinner. We talked about ourselves. We started getting to know more of each other better.
Prior to this, she asked me to accompany her to a friend's wedding. It was supposed to be in Batangas, a good 3 hours drive away from Manila. Somehow the appointment was unsure because of a possible conflict in her work schedule. I wasn't expecting that we would join the wedding. It was only in the finals hours that we determined that we could push through.
The wedding turned out beautifully.
It's supposed to be a beach wedding and everyone was expected to come in colorful beach wedding attire. Our worry was that it has been raining for the past few days and a beach wedding can be easily ruined by rain. But that day came out to be a fine perfect sunny day - perfect for a long drive and a romantic beach wedding. God is good.
The wedding took place on a holiday, Bonifacio day, Nov 30,2007. I drove and she navigated our way to the venue. We depended on a few instructions and a map. We made a good team. We didn't get lost. We arrived safe in Laiya at around 3pm and the wedding is supposed to start at around 3:30pm. We prepared ourselves for the wedding. I wore my brand new drawstring pants, thong sandals and a shirt. Claire wore her new halter top. She was a sight to behold. She looked beautiful. And I'm proud to be her partner that evening.
We saw dolphins by the sea, possibly curious of the commotion happening on land. Rarely have I seen dolphins so near land in Batangas. It seems the sea is giving her blessings as well.
The bride is a close friend that she went to church with. The father of the bride is a pastor of a new church. Given the case, we knew no one, except the family of the bride.
The dinner banquet soon followed after the vows were exchanged. We found a table together behind most of the guests. The most curious thing was it seems no one wanted to sit by our table! Indeed, we had the table to ourselves. The bride's mom gave us a special candle for our table - no one else got one.
Picture this... We were seated on a table behind everyone else and shared with no one. Romantic love songs were being played in the background. The weather was perfect with a bit of December sea breeze chilly enough for us to sit closer together. The sound of the waves lapping by the shore makes for some relaxing ambient sound. A candlelit dinner with food being brought to our table. It was the most romantic dinner date I've ever had.
Then we talked.
Prior to the wedding, she was accepted to the Makati Medical Center as a resident pediatrician. She was unsure of the start of work which is why we werent sure if we could attend the wedding. But once it starts, it is expected that she will be very busy. She'll be having less sleep. Less time for herself. Less time for her family. Consequently, less time for us - to talk, to chat, to text - less time to spend with each other.
During that evening, we talked about ourselves. She'll be very busy. It might be our last time to be together for a long time. She shared her fears. I shared mine. She expressed her feelings for me but was afraid of going on a commitment. I assured her fears. I told Claire that I love her and that I never want her to get hurt again. I didn't want to get hurt too.
I asked for her commitment. Commit to pray for each other exclusively about God's will in our lives. Commit to not consider others for the meantime. Commit to get to know each other better both as brothers and sisters in Christ. Commit to keep the relationship pure with Christ in the center. The commitment ends in marriage. Or once we realize that we're not meant for each other.
And then she said yes.
We prayed. We were in our own little world in that wedding ceremony. We were afraid but we believed that God will see us through.
Soonafter we prayed, the wedding celebrant invited all the couples in the wedding ceremony for a game. We are now officially a couple! The evening went off with a bang. Literally. Fireworks lit the beautiful evening sky. Love is in the air. For the newly married couple, and for us as a new couple.
The story doesnt end here. It's only the beginning of a relationship blessed by God himself. As such, we as a couple have an accountability - to God himself. Our heart's desire never changes, our desire is to honor Him over and above our own relationship. We are not to lose focus of His purpose in our lives. Marriage or having a relationship is not the end, it a means to fulfill His higher calling in us - His purpose.
Until that day comes, We'll be praying. Which is why we're asking people close to us to pray as well. God willing, the story will have an episode 2, and it will be about our very own wedding.
God is good.
Update:
Link to Jonathan & Meg's wedding
arrrgh!
