He Said/She Said :Thoughts on Love and Being a Newly Married Couple

by Christian and Claire Pascual for PowerUp

HE SAID…

It’s almost Valentines and it will be special – it’ll be our first one as man and wife. I’m thinking of making it fancy. But not too fancy. Alas, taking the notch too high makes it more difficult to top next year.

Should I bring her flowers? Maybe. The last ones I gave her, not counting the wedding, were for her birthday last year. Chocolates? We have tons of them, since I developed a sweet tooth. Jewelry? Another Tiffany? I’m broke.

Alas, these are not the romantic musings of a man still courting his girlfriend/fiancée – these are reality-based considerations of a married man who, together with other married men, is discussing with them how they each plan to celebrate this romance-filled time of the year. True enough, the counsel of a wise pastor-friend says that the courtship does not end with the marriage. “A happy wife makes for a happy life,” he said. “Celebrate the monthsary.” I’m heeding these advices.

I can say that I’m truly blessed with our courtship, engagement and wedding story. People who’ve read our story may think we’ve got the marriage made. Not exactly. The road to Now was not easy. It took a tremendous amount of mountain-moving faith, and a fair amount of rock-pushing hard work.

Nowadays, people’s minds are awash with media’s perception of Love. But that’s a different topic entirely. It’s easy to be swept away with the dreamy, diluted and preconceived ideas of love and how it tickles one’s fancy. I’ve seen too many movies and heard too many songs describing how love is like. Marriage is often put in a bad light and is often even blamed for spoiling relationships.

Taking Life as a teacher, I’ve learned that Love is not merely warm, mushy feelings, as it has been commonly relegated. Love is a decision.

And there is no better description of it than the one we find in the Love chapter – 1 Corinthians 13. What does it say? Love decides that I be patient. Love decides that I be kind. I decide not to be jealous. I decide not to be boastful. I decide not to be demanding. I decide not to be unjust. I decide to keep enduring. I decide not to give up. I decide to hope. And that is because I love.

And that is Love.

Now, barely a few months after proudly updating my Facebook status, I am faced with the often-asked but barely-satisfactorily answered question: “How did I know that she’s the one?”

So how did I know that she’s the one? I decided by the Faith that I had.

Was I correct with my decision? I believe that God gave me the best. And I will keep working to make this marriage the best that God wants it to be for me. How? By God’s grace, I will continue to try and be the best husband, friend, lover, leader and servant that I can be for my wife.

In short, Love is not what we have always thought it to be. Love is never easy. It is hard and very costly, so costly that it took the life of the Father’s only begotten Son to reconcile His beloved to Himself.

Claire, I love you. I thank God for you. Happy Valentine’s Day, Love.

____

SHE SAID…

Our present home was the sole witness to Christian’s grand proposal – it was part of his promise, to love me forever and to build a family with me. The whole kneeling-down-on-one-knee sequence happened right where a sofa now holds guests when they come over to our small condominium unit somewhere in Kapitolyo, Pasig.

After the wedding ended and the festivity quieted down, we knew that our life was now changed forever. We had left our parent’s house and now it was just us- two personalities, two sets of habits, with two different lifestyles. Not to mention moving away from our respective comfort zones. Cleaning, cooking, and paying the bills. We now had no one to turn to but each other.

I, for one, had never cooked a single meal in my entire life. But I do now. Christian, on the other hand, well, let’s just say that if my mother-in-law could just see him clean the house the way he does now, it would bring tears to her eyes.

It’s tough doing chores, especially when you’re practically exhausted from your day’s work and the bed is calling out to you. But its not about just me or him anymore. Love is never without sacrifice.

We knew all these had to be taken in stride. We have talked to pastor friends (and ninongs and ninangs) and we realized that being on our own is a blessing. It is a process of molding, shaping and preparing us for a bigger family.

We know people have our backs too. Our home was lovingly prepared for us by our parents before we moved in. We have friends at ICS whom we can turn to for advice. And most recently, we have started marriage counseling sessions with two other young couples during the weekends. It was refreshing, to talk with Christian people who are experiencing the very same things we are, and going through them with the guidance of God’s Word.

I know this is just the start. I am excited for what is to come. The wedding has been a blessing. Our marriage, for sure, will be pretty amazing.

Without a Sigh

written by Claire Celiz

September 17, 2009

This last 2 months of wedding preparations has thrown us in total chaos. It started with the drafting of the invitations, and went downhill from there. Our closest friends have felt the pressure. Nio even said we looked so haggard we had to take some time off it. Of course its a bit too hard, because with my three day duties and the hospital work, I was barely staying afloat.

At times I lose my temper. Well, I guess its more often. Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling weary like I havnt slept at all. And as expected, it took its toll on Christian. And if you know him, you would say that his patience can stretch for miles. But with his hard earned money fast draining, not to mention all those chores I keep on throwing at him, these days its already wearing thin. 

These days, there are times when I think, why is it too hard, preparing for the wedding? I drag myself on day after day, painfully doing one checklist item at a time on our to do list. I think, if this is hard, what would our marriage life be then?

But today Christian told me the story of our ring. Our engagement ring.

We had plans for marriage at the beginning of our relationship. We always talked about it, estimating that it will happen before our second year anniversary. So when Christian left for the States last year, we knew it was God's way of preparing us, emotionally and finally, but it is only now that I realize that God has once again proven Himself to have plans even far greater that our own. 

He told me I always wanted a Tiffany & Co. engagement ring. Honestly, I dont remember really pushing for it. But before Christian left for the States, he was already asking T&Co. Stores at Rustan's for engagement rings. When he got the price quotations, his heart sank. He couldn't afford it. 

On his first month in Atlanta, he felt that God placed him there as an opprtunity to finally buy a ring for me. He called the T&Co. Store in Atlanta, got some qoutations and finally decided on one. The diamond was of high quality, colorless and the cut excellent. He would tell me several time that he had looked into other jewelry stores and the ring was worth a one carat diamond in their stock. I would ask him repeatedly why did he still buy it. He would only tell me, “that is what you wanted”.

It was only tonight that he showed me the ring's insurance papers and its true value. I again asked him, why did you still buy it. This time his answer was different. He told me that God had provided for it in Atlanta. That if he was to buy one of smaller value, it is as if minamaliit namin ang kakayahan ng Diyos. He has asked for it, and God had answered yes. Up to this day he would consider the ring a miracle, something that is way beyond his means. He took it as a firm affirmation of God's favor in our relationship. He told me there are times that we would fight when he was still abroad and he would be left broken, but he would look at the ring and be reminded that God brought us together, and if God can give such a ring, He would do more wondrous things in our lives. He told me, that more that its value, the ring symbolizes all that God is in our lives. Tonight I am reminded again the true reason I am to be married.

When I look at the ring now, I am struck by awe at God's ways. It is a palpable wave of gratitude to the One who brought Christian and me together at this point with its little miracles. I praise God for such a God fearing man, and pray that the rest of the months I will be able to prepare myself to be a wife that is pleasing in His sight.

The Lord of the Ring - Episode 2

When God Writes My Love Story

Episode 2 - The Lord of the Ring







Delight yourself in the LORD and
He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

This verse, that has echoed in every letter, word and sentence in my last testimony, continuous to echo in every second, minute and hour of my journey. It testifies of His faithfulness in my life. He is faithful not because of who I am nor what I’ve done but because of who He is.

We were talking about proposals and engagement rings then. My cousin has just gotten married and everyone was still on a wedding high as most got involved in the preparations one way or the other.

“If you’re going to propose, a blue box would be nice.” Claire jokingly blurted. Yes, the famous little blue box. It was every girl’s dream of receiving some type of jewelry wrapped in a trademarked blue colored box associated with romance, elegance and exclusivity. Looking into some fashion magazines I realized she wanted a T&Co. I didn't know what it was since I have a shopping and fashion IQ of a Neanderthal.

I wanted to surprise her and I was wondering if the ring was feasible. I found out that there are T&Co. stores in Manila.  I quickly went to the store and checked if they have something within my pocket’s reach. It was not meant to be. They are really exclusive! With my current status, T&Co. is definitely out of my league. Besides, a lead time of 6-8 months is needed when purchasing from them. I checked my options; T&Co. is not one of them. I finally set it aside at the back of my mind.

'My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

But God had something different in mind. I didn't see it back then. He’s preparing me for something. I just needed to trust Him. And so I did.


I was to be sent to Atlanta, GA for 6 months work. This will be the first time I’ll be away from home for such a long time. Claire and I have been dating for only a few months. Thinking about it, we’ll be distant longer than we’ve been together.

Long before, I never believed that long distance relationships ever work. Ours will now be put to the same test. It was sad. But I had to trust Him and His purposes.

April 15 was when I flew to Atlanta. I soon found out that life is different in the US. I had to cook, wash the dishes, clean the house, do laundry, and iron my clothes – be independent! Friends were saying that I became domesticated. The chores were not that bad, it was the longing of loved ones, family and friends that was difficult. With all the comforts provided, I was not happy. I fully realized that material affluence can never buy happiness. Happiness is found in the contentment of what you have and in the midst of people you love and love you as well.

In spite of the homesickness, I knew that I was here for a purpose. That was to be my source of comfort. In times of difficulties, I had to learn to trust in Him - like silver refined over the flame.

Then I remembered the ring. There was a T&Co. store in Atlanta!

I quickly sent an email inquiring about their rings. I was hopeful. A few more exchanges and found a ring within my budget. I was informed that they will be increasing their prices over the weekend. I had to act fast. Soon enough, I have the ring in my possession. Only later will I appreciate fully the significance of the ring.

And my God will meet all your needs
according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19


I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed,
you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20

I could have bought any diamond ring. End of story. But Claire wanted something seemingly over the top. She wanted something that required faith - faith as BIG as a mustard seed; faith that can move mountains. I claimed His promises and from His abundant riches the ring came to be.

The ring is not my own, it is His gift to me. It is the fulfillment of His promise. It is a demonstration that nothing is impossible for Him - laying claim, with a dash of faith, from out His abundant riches. And He did provide… over and above my expectations - without busting a penny from my own paycheck!

I held on to the ring for 5 more months of my stay in Atlanta. It reminded me of His faithfulness at times when my faith wavers. I knew and found comfort that He is sovereign at times when Claire and I would have misunderstandings. The anxiety would often be magnified by the distance and separation. It was a firm foundation in unsteady circumstances.

Time flew quickly. My stay in the US was enriching and my worldview has expanded. I went to places I wouldn't imagine I would be able to visit. I met old and new friends. Old friendships grew stronger. I met amazing people.

I was invited to a retreat by new friends I met a month before returning back home. It was a timely source of spiritual refreshing and renewal. We shared testimonies of God’s faithfulness in our lives. I shared my story - the love story that God is writing for me. They prayed for me. They blessed me and anointed my head with oil. It was my confirmation.  I was ready to go home.


The Proposal


We left our home of 6 months and arrived Oct 6 in Manila. We’re already talking of wedding plans by then. Friends were teasing about a dramatic airport proposal. I knew Claire didn't care much for public displays of affection. She wanted something special and intimate. It will not be at the airport.

It was tempting to be lazy with the proposal having the ring. Fine dining for two, live romantic music, bouquet of roses to be capped with the question of commitment would have sufficed. It was clichéd. It will be too predictable. This happens only once and it was every woman’s dream that their engagement would be special.

We had planned for an out of town trip to Tagaytay once I got back from the States. She only had a day to spend her vacation leave for the year. I thought this is the best opportunity to pop the question. I was thinking of Antonio’s but it turned out her leave fell on a Monday and they close shop on Mondays. I wanted to ask her hand from her mom but she decided not to join us at the last minute. The car wasn't in its tip top condition and I wouldn't want to risk taking it out of town. It seems my plans are not turning out as expected. It was not to be in Tagaytay.

God is love…
1 John 4:16

It takes a lot of effort to think of a memorable proposal. It may take a lot more to execute it. Since God is Love, why not ask for help from the Ultimate Romantic?  He has been faithful from the beginning and I am expecting great and wonderful things yet to come to those who believe. I believed.

Last year, I had thought of getting a condo unit as an investment. It’s a small studio sized unit, small enough to begin a life as a married couple. Late this year, I was informed that the unit is ready to for occupancy. After getting back from Atlanta, I worked on getting my new home. She knew of it as we’re already making wedding plans. That was all she knew of.

I thought of doing the proposal in our new home. It would take a while since I had to pay for some dues and needed to submit some documents. It would have been nice if the proposal would fall on a monthsary – we hadn't had a chance to celebrate it since I’m far away. Too bad she would be on duty as a resident that day. I guess any other day would be ok.

And God intervened.

I got all my requirements ready for submission. Miraculously, Claire told me her scheduled duty would slide a day earlier. I can now propose on our monthsary! I went to the condo’s sales manager, Billy, and submitted all my requirements. I told her of my engagement plan. She was elated! I shared my story only to find in our conversation that she’s a Christian as well. I also discovered that she’s a retired wedding planner! As Claire and I were already talking about the wedding, we have yet to decide on the wedding planner. Billy mentioned she was willing to help me – on the engagement plan and on the wedding itself! At no cost!

Billy is an angel and she’s heaven sent. She suggested that I could use the rooftop for the proposal – for free. It would be an exclusive dinner for 2 with candle lights, flowers, balloons! It was brilliant. It will be amazing.

Foolishly, I started to doubt. I only have a day left. Where will I get the flowers? How about the table? Where do I get the balloons? How about the food? How much? Is it expensive? Thinking about the work that needs to be done made me almost want to give up.

I remembered God’s faithfulness. It knocked some sense back into me and surrendered all my doubts. Why doubt now when He manifested Himself in far more difficult things and situations – I was reminded of the ring again.

The following day I met up with Billy. She volunteered to help me prepare for the proposal. She personally knew of a florist nearby and could pull some strings. Amazingly she did! She got me my fancy table cloth, flower centerpiece, and candles to boot. She knew of a nearby store that sells party favors as well. Next thing I know, I have floor balloons and balloons on a string imprinted with “Will you marry me?” They will be ready the next day. She also volunteered to prepare the meal for me. She agreed to buy the wine and lend her own dinnerware. It was amazing! Everything was falling into place! I was anxious the previous day about the preparations and now everything is set. It was effortless. It was divinely orchestrated.

It’s proposal day and I’m excited. Claire hasn't got a clue of the things that will transpire. We agreed to go out for our monthsary dinner. That’s all she knows. I took my leave from the office that day. I asked my talented and good friend Bernard to help me prepare for the big day. He came over around 3 in the afternoon.

Claire called soon after. She finished her work earlier than usual only to find out that I was still in the bathroom. I still need to prepare for the setup!  Panic time! I’ll definitely be late for our date.

We hurriedly went to the condo. I found Billy setting up the table at the rooftop. The flowers and balloons are all ready. I left Bernard to help Billy. I was told that they’ll be ready by 6:30pm. It was still 5pm. I had to go. I knew Claire was waiting. She’ll probably be furious as she’s been waiting for an hour.

Surely enough I met Claire. The reception is chilly. Not an ounce of warmth and the usual sunny disposition. I had to stall her as it was still too early. It’s definitely not easy to employ delaying tactics to a livid girlfriend. My only consolation is that all this will change later. I resorted to dragging her to do some window shopping, applying for cell phone subscriptions without bringing the requirements and her waiting on me while having coffee at Starbucks. All this is not helping appease her disposition. My last alibi is that we’re waiting for reservations I made at a nearby dining place we both wanted to try. I can’t hold her off much longer. I have to bring her in.

It’s time.

We drove over to the condo. This will be our new home when we get married. I suggested that she put on her blindfold before she sees the unit. Little did she know that I have balloons placed inside the room.

“No. I don’t want to put on a blind fold.”

Houston, we have a problem. I can’t surprise her if she didn't cover her eyes. I had to think fast! I had to plead with her. Good thing she relented.

I helped her to her seat, blindfolded. I quietly knelt in front of her and carefully brought out the bluebox. I lovingly asked her to take off her blindfold.

“Will you marry me?”

The cold countenance soon melted and was soon replaced with tears. It was a resounding yes!

YES!!!

We talked a bit. We were laughing at ourselves. Now she knows why I was late. I would later learn that she hadn't had a clue of what will transpire. She was resigned to the fact that there will be no proposal since plans were already being made. She wasn't expecting a ring, much more a T&Co. engagement ring!

I suggested we go up the rooftop to show her the view. She didn't know I have another surprise waiting.

Upon reaching the rooftop, we were greeted with a table setup for 2. Balloons announcing the occasion flew beside the table. The entire rooftop landscape was well lit accented by the candles. Romantic music was playing. The table was immaculately arranged with some sparkling wine, food with a beautifully arranged floral centerpiece. I even have a bouquet for her. The weather was perfect – a slight drizzle earlier threatened the original plan. My friend Bernard assumed the role of waiter from being Billy’s help. Everything was perfect.

The evening went well. We laughed and enjoyed each others company. Thanks to Billy and her assistants, Bernard included.

Looking back to the engagement day, I’m still amazed as how God has been faithful to us. Indeed, God is the Ultimate Romantic I always believed He is. I’m privileged I was able to testify of it. I’m now looking forward to more amazing things He will be doing for the wedding and for us as a married couple.

That he who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion
until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6

Even then, I ask people close to us to pray for us continually. Our desire is not to boast but that God be glorified further in our lives. By His grace, may He find us faithful and worthy of bearing His name. May our story be a blessing to others and may other people be brought closer to Him as we share our story - our love story that God is writing.

It is my desire that people allow to have their life story be written by the Author and Giver of life. It's worth it!

Episode 3? In His time, He makes all things beautiful. In His time. God is good.


related:
http://capncrisp.multiply.com/journal/item/55
http://capncrisp.multiply.com/journal/item/38

We're Engaged

thanks to ms.billy cleope * friends + nio

and... for all who prayed for us!



Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart

Psalm 37:4












more.pictures.blog.stories.episode.2.to.follow





Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!



related:

http://capncrisp.multiply.com/journal/item/38
update:
http://capncrisp.multiply.com/journal/item/56

Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

by Regina Brett

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


source: link

---

(cum) grano salis  

The Father's Blessing

Genesis 12:1-3

 1 The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

 2 "I will make you into a great nation
       and I will bless you;
       I will make your name great,
       and you will be a blessing.

 3 I will bless those who bless you,
       and whoever curses you I will curse;
       and all peoples on earth
       will be blessed through you."



It's Father's day today and we just witnessed  a touching service in Calvary. Ptr. Brian preached as a part of his series on the well of blessing about - The Father's blessing.

The preaching was based from Bill Glass' book and emphasizes the importance of the Father's blessing in each and everyone's life. For those lacking the presence of physical fathers, God is gracious to even provide substitutes on our behalf.

I felt the awesome presence of God during this time and it reaffirmed how vital the role of the church is on a person's spiritual growth and maturity.

It is surprising to note that a lot of people, even those who grew up with biological fathers, have yet to receive the approval, much more the blessings of their fathers in their lives. Our speaker noted that he first heard his father say "i love you" to him by the time was was 40!

At the end of the service, people who felt they missed out on their father's blessing were asked to go in front of the altar and were prayed for by fathers in the church. At lot of people came out. No eye was left dry. Not even mine.

What came in my mind during this time was I was blessed to have a dad who gave his blessing and approval to me. I will not be who I am today if not for my dad.

Dad, i love you. Thank you. Happy Fathers day.

---

related:
The Power of a Father's Blessing

When God Writes My Love Story - Episode 1

It's a story I never could have possibly imagine would happen.  Some may call it fate, I call it Faith. Others may call it serendipity, I call it Sovereignty. It's a story so amazing that even I wouldn't believe could happen to anyone I know... Yet it happened to me.

The first time I knew Claire was through her mom. Her mom was my Sunday school teacher and I was just only living 7 years of my existence. And she was 3. She was the new kid in Sunday school and almost everyone watched over her, took care of her - she was everybody's baby.

Time passed we lived our own separate lives. Distinct and without any thought of the other. We rarely see each other in church and any opportunity that came up was insignificant. I was big brother who didn't care much with what's happening with the younger church crowd, and she's growing up to become the pretty lass from her batch. We existed in our own world and we couldn't care less about the other. It was unlikely that something or anything at all could happen between us.

As we pursued our lives, we had our own relationships. Each relationships eventually lead to heartbreaks. We existed to find love and eventually lose it again. In the search for true love, we found ourselves getting hurt and wounded, over and over again. And it was a painful and vicious cycle. Finding true love was an impossible task. There was something missing.

Surrender.

Being a Christian begins with accepting Christ as Lord and Saviour. Acknowledging Christ died for my sins once and for all was easier. Making Him Lord of my life is the harder part. Being a Christian doesn't end in just attending Bible studies, praying, going to church, and being good.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
 
Surrender is key. And I learned it the hard way. Experiencing hurt and pain was the only way to rid of my stubbornness. And it really hurt where it mattered the most. I wrestled with God, and He won. I finally gave Him the last part of me that I have been keeping for myself. My heart. My Love.

No more desires for relationships. No more desires for marriage. I started accepting that it maybe my calling. The calling of singleness. My focus is to be a man after God's own heart. My desire is to be in the center of His will. My desire is to delight myself in Him.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

One fateful day on September 2006 we were in the hospital with family. It was a bittersweet reunion of sorts. A close uncle of mine suffered a stroke. Thank God that He is sovereign and my uncle was ok. Along with the getting together of family comes the usual banter. I was of age and was asked the dreaded question most single people dread to hear.

"Why aren't you married?" followed by "Why not?" followed by more whys and what nots. I told them that I was looking for something.

I was looking for the Spark. Spark - not the Allspark. Not the kind that gives life to alien life forms transforming into vehicles and robots bringing havoc to earthlings. But it was similar. Some call it attraction. Others infatuation. And I wasn't finding any during that time. I was the iceman - no warm happy mushy being felt for the longest time. I was the iron man - my heart was as hard as cold steel, incapable of love.

Then the fateful question was asked. "Why not Claire?". I said "Maybe".

My answer set the wheels turning. It was like clockwork. I believe God uses people to accomplish His purpose. And He did. People began praying for me. He began to move when I stopped doing things on my own. He will be doing the courtship for me. And amazingly He did. Even before I actually courted her. Claire told me herself.

Unfortunately, impatience got the best of me. It was August 2007, when I asked her out after she passed the board exams. She said no. It was unexpected. I would later learn that she didn't like me at all. I was "makulit". She avoided my advances. She didn't take my calls. I was discouraged and was ready to give up.

"Di ko pagpipilitan ang sarili ko sa mga taong ayaw sa akin" was my last exasperated sigh. I'm thinking that it may not be God's will that we be together. I'm done with her. Or so I thought.

But people kept praying for me. I was given advise and encouragement by a friend that I should be a friend to her first. Not to befriend her only to court her later. It was supposed to be a genuine friendship with no expectations. That advice may have become the turning point.

Little did I know that God was already at work in her. She was afraid of getting into relationships. She's afraid to get hurt all over again. She's afraid to hurt the man she loves. Her fear is that she was not good enough.

And I became a friend to her. The group we were in started going out for gimik and outings. We as a group watched movies. We had coffee. We had dinner.  We even stayed late in the evening in the coffeeshop just to talk about love, life, and God's will in our lives. Things that usual christian young adults are supposed to be doing. It was all good clean fun.

Little by little she took notice of me. I wasn't expecting anything but was just being myself. Of course the attraction in my part is still there. But having no expectations was liberating. We started exchanging text messages again. I just let myself be me - transparent. And let God do the courting for me. And in time God nurtured what we have in our hearts.

In our small talk, I finally worked up enough courage to tell her how I feel. I asked her to commit herself to prayer. I told her I was considering her in my prayers as a potential life partner. I asked her to seek God's will regarding the both of us. And I will do the same. We agreed to pray for each other.

We got involved in various church activities. We both became involved in the Christmas decorating activities in church. We worked with joyful and willing hearts. Our group dedicated ourselves to make the decorations the best we could. Better than anything we have seen. Better than what our church has had. And without asking anything in return.

True enough, the Lord found delight in me. He honored me again. He saw my heart's desire. I was on a leisure trip to China. We still found ourselves exchanging text messages via roaming. We realized we missed each other. True enough, absence makes the heart grow fonder. The fondness grew more when it was her turn to go on vacation to China, this time in Hong Kong. I'm an avid traveller and I knew that arriving from the airport with luggage in tow is not fun at all. I volunteered to fetch her and her mom from the airport. Because I care. During that time, we haven't dated yet. We haven't gone out for dinner. We haven't gone out in a movie. Not as us. Then the most unexpected thing happened, her mom asked me to have dinner with them. This is what I've been praying for. God's favor was on me.

Little by little, Claire started to open herself to me. She's becoming more comfortable. She's learning to trust again. We started going out for coffee and dinner. We talked about ourselves. We started getting to know more of each other better.

Prior to this, she asked me to accompany her to a friend's wedding. It was supposed to be in Batangas, a good 3 hours drive away from Manila. Somehow the appointment was unsure because of a possible conflict in her work schedule. I wasn't expecting that we would join the wedding. It was only in the finals hours that we determined that we could push through.

The wedding turned out beautifully.

It's supposed to be a beach wedding and everyone was expected to come in colorful beach wedding attire. Our worry was that it has been raining for the past few days and a beach wedding can be easily ruined by rain. But that day came out to be a fine perfect sunny day - perfect for a long drive and a romantic beach wedding. God is good.

The wedding took place on a holiday, Bonifacio day, Nov 30,2007. I drove and she navigated our way to the venue. We depended on a few instructions and a map. We made a good team. We didn't get lost. We arrived safe in Laiya at around 3pm and the wedding is supposed to start at around 3:30pm. We prepared ourselves for the wedding. I wore my brand new drawstring pants, thong sandals and a shirt. Claire wore her new halter top. She was a sight to behold. She looked beautiful. And I'm proud to be her partner that evening.

We saw dolphins by the sea, possibly curious of the commotion happening on land. Rarely have I seen dolphins so near land in Batangas. It seems the sea is giving her blessings as well.

The bride is a close friend that she went to church with. The father of the bride is a pastor of a new church. Given the case, we knew no one, except the family of the bride.

The dinner banquet soon followed after the vows were exchanged. We found a table together behind most of the guests. The most curious thing was it seems no one wanted to sit by our table! Indeed, we had the table to ourselves. The bride's mom gave us a special candle for our table - no one else got one.

Picture this... We were seated on a table behind everyone else and shared with no one. Romantic love songs were being played in the background. The weather was perfect with a bit of December sea breeze chilly enough for us to sit closer together. The sound of the waves lapping by the shore makes for some relaxing ambient sound. A candlelit dinner with food being brought to our table. It was the most romantic dinner date I've ever had.

Then we talked.

Prior to the wedding, she was accepted to the Makati Medical Center as a resident pediatrician. She was unsure of the start of work which is why we werent sure if we could attend the wedding. But once it starts, it is expected that she will be very busy. She'll be having less sleep. Less time for herself. Less time for her family. Consequently, less time for us - to talk, to chat, to text - less time to spend with each other.

During that evening, we talked about ourselves. She'll be very busy. It might be our last time to be together for a long time. She shared her fears. I shared mine. She expressed her feelings for me but was afraid of going on a commitment. I assured her fears. I told Claire that I love her and that I never want her to get hurt again. I didn't want to get hurt too.

I asked for her commitment. Commit to pray for each other exclusively about God's will in our lives. Commit to not consider others for the meantime. Commit to get to know each other better both as brothers and sisters in Christ. Commit to keep the relationship pure with Christ in the center. The commitment ends in marriage. Or once we realize that we're not meant for each other.

And then she said yes.

We prayed. We were in our own little world in that wedding ceremony. We were afraid but we believed that God will see us through.

Soonafter we prayed, the wedding celebrant invited all the couples in the wedding ceremony for a game. We are now officially a couple! The evening went off with a bang. Literally. Fireworks lit the beautiful evening sky. Love is in the air. For the newly married couple, and for us as a new couple.

The story doesnt end here. It's only the beginning of a relationship blessed by God himself. As such, we as a couple have an accountability - to God himself. Our heart's desire never changes, our desire is to honor Him over and above our own relationship. We are not to lose focus of His purpose in our lives. Marriage or having a relationship is not the end, it a means to fulfill His higher calling in us - His purpose.

Until that day comes, We'll be praying. Which is why we're asking people close to us to pray as well. God willing, the story will have an episode 2, and it will be about our very own wedding.

God is good.

Update:
Link to Jonathan & Meg's wedding

Purpose Driven

In an interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life: The goal is to grow in character, In Christ-likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believ'e that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people...You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instanfly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.

I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for you to own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan - to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better...God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

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I first read the article on http://purplepinksky.multiply.com/ and scoured the net for the actual source. The interview with Paul Bradshaw did take place. A related article can also be found in Preparing for Eternity - on Purpose. Read and be STOKED!